“Manners cost nothing” my old gran used to say, and she was right! Partial to the odd card game herself, she would be appalled at some of the goings on around the poker table these days.

We’re all there to play a game and get a stab at the glory (and hopefully a stash of cash too) and so there’s no excuse for poor cardsmanship. Manners do matter!

Here are some pointers to mind those casino hold ‘em manners:

Watch your language:

As intense or nerve wracking as your game of casino hold ‘em might be, there is no reason to utter profanities! Nobody appreciates a player who lets loose on the tongue and it’s best to keep your swearing to yourself.

A friend of mine shamefully got shoved into the “sin bin” in a Vegas casino for swearing at a bad beat – not only was he stunned, he was also highly embarrassed. Of course, we loved the story – it gave us hours of amusement at his expense.

But in all seriousness, online poker rooms will ban you from chat for using bad language, and if you keep it up you may find yourself removed from the site completely. Is it really worth it?

Keep your comments to yourself:

It is bad form to comment on a hand while the play is in progress. Don’t give your opinion and don’t offer to show the player how the hand ’should’ be played. Remember the old poker rule “one player to a hand”.

And in case you didn’t know – never, ever, break the rule of revealing what your cards are when you fold – especially if people are still playing. Believe me – people do and they are not invited back.  

Don’t be a slob! 

Don’t be a bad loser at a game by making sarcastic comments to the winner, and certainly don’t bad-mouth him or her by attacking them personally. Seriously, what’s the point? Apart from making you feel bad you’ll get thrown of the site.

If you’ve ever watched poker great Gus Hansen you will see he’s the king of cool. He’s always polite, calm and shakes hands when (if) he loses. So take a leaf out of his book and take it all in your stride. 

Slow Play? No way!: 

There’s nothing more irritating than a slow player. So you didn’t quite get the cards or a move didn’t come off? Get over it! It’s part of the game. Deliberately taking as long as possible to play your hand will make you unpopular but won’t necessarily put your opponents on tilt – you’re the one more likely to lose it! 

And slow playing so people get knocked out before you to get close to the money? Get a life! If that’s what you need to rely on to get anywhere near the cash, then you’re going to bubble, at best.

Texas hold ‘em is undeniably the most popular form of poker played at casinos today. It’s played by millions of players around the world who are seeking a piece of the action - grand prizes, a bit of glory or seats to live events such as the World Series of Poker.

Many beginners see casino hold ‘em being played but don’t know how to go about taking that first step into the wonderful world of poker. To help you along the way to your slice of glitz and glamour in the poker hall of fame: here’s some tips to help novice players begin their journey.

Read all about it!

There’s nothing more important than learning as much as possible about the game of hold’em before trying it at the casinos. There’s more to it than just the cards and bluffing.

My mate thought that pocket aces were guaranteed to make him win: imagine his surprise when it didn’t come off - bad beat? Nope: not at all. Did you know the starting hand most likely to beat pocket aces is J 9 suited? That if he’d bet stronger initially then he’d probably have scared off the opponent? Ha ha! Unlucky!

A good book, such as Bill Burton’s “Get the Edge at Low Limit Texas Hold ‘em” will do wonders at showing you the basics.

Learn pot odds.

As a new player, you may be overwhelmed with all the information that you need to memorize, especially the great big fuzzy fog known as pot odds.

It may be daunting but it’s important you know the pot odds of the most common situations in a game of hold ‘em. Then you can make educated decisions about your hand and look like a pro - bonus!

Know your enemy!

As a game of skill, you play against others rather than the house, and so it’s a bit like a Wild West showdown. You have to be quick on the draw and keep your cool. One false move and you could be run outta town.

Bluffing is an important element in hold ‘em, but with practice you’ll be able to pick out who’s loose, tight or aggressive. Remember these traits (or use players notes on the software to keep track) and you’ll soon get to grips with all the opponents around a table.

But don’t forget - they’re watching you too. Try to vary your game a little to kick some poker butt and keep them on their toes.

Practice makes perfect

There are no two ways about it - the more you practice, the better you’ll get. Try free games or freeroll tournaments without denting your bankroll whilst improving. ‘Nuff said.

Stick to the basics

Many new players are tempted to copy the way they’ve seen their poker heroes play on televised poker events. They show fancy footwork and intricate bluffing methods, but; they know what they’re doing. You don’t - so don’t try and copy!

If you’re desperate to look good, however, watch this clip and learn how to fiddle with the chips like a pro - it’s guaranteed to get others in a sweat.

It’s a fact that many people love the anonymity of online gaming and one of the definite perks is that you can be whoever you want to be. Because women often feel intimidated in what is still seen as a man’s world, many female players take on the guise of a man to avoid preconceived ideas of their playing ability. Then, of course, there’s also the added pain of getting chatted up over chat when you’re trying to play your game…

But what you may not realise is that many male players have also taken to using usernames that suggest they’re of the opposite sex. The thinking behind this is that many male players tend to assume that the ladies will be weaker opponents. And so some clever chaps are swapping testosterone filled screen names such as b1gwi11y for gentler titles such as p1nk6abe to throw their opponents.

So, does this mean that everyone is crossing online? Is there any certainty that any of your male opponents are men and that the women are really women? I have visions of hairy legs in fishnets and ladies with glued on moustaches…but maybe that’s taking it too far (lets hope so). But the truth is there’s no way of knowing, and so those of you that use the screen name to help you with your tells: STOP! Next time you’re at a table with 5exy5ue22, just be careful! You might get more than you bargained for!

In short, yes. Ok, so you’d think it’s not as blatant as a twitching eyebrow or Cheshire cat grin, but the virtual tell can contribute to spoiling your online play.

It can be easy to fall into routine while playing online. It’s made to be fast-paced, particularly with the use of the preset buttons to call, raise or fold. Cards are lightening fast and you are expected to act quickly. And here breeds the virtual tell…

Be wary of the speed you click your mouse, you could well be alerting your opposition to particularly tasty cards. It’s a misconception that, because you don’t have a physical presence to your opponents, you can’t be read.  However, the clues to interpret a user’s hand are still present.

A virtual tell is a subconscious action performed in a given situation that alerts your opposition to your hand, similarly to the traditional tell. Be conscious of your actions, particularly repeat behaviour. Using the automatic feature for strong hands, but stalling on weak ones is a common give away to strong players looking for prey.

Betting rhythms are amplified online due to the absence of other visual factors, so you need to be conscious of your speed to act on various hands. The key is to be broken with your play and vary your time to call. By mixing up your betting pattern, this will help to disguise the quality of your hands.

Remember; poker is cat and mouse and online play is no different. The trick is to keep your opponents guessing. Beware the rhythm, but also look for patterns from other players – YOU could be the one using the virtual tell to turn your game.

Famous for being partial to his fast cars and fancy gadgets, our introduction to the new bond man Daniel Craig, is slightly unconventional – his main weapon being Texas Hold’em Poker.

When Secret Service intelligence reveals that Le Chiffre (a corrupt banker to the world of terrorists) is planning to raise money in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro at Le Casino Royale, MI6 assigns 007 to play against him, knowing that if Le Chiffre loses, it will destroy his organisation.

This latest Bond film brings Ian Fleming’s original 1953 novel bang up-to-date, switching Baccarat for the ever popular game of Texas Hold’em Poker.

The Game: No-limit Texas Hold’em Poker. Ten players, each buying in at $10 million, with a re-buy of a further $5 million. That means that should you be unlucky enough to lose all your cash early on (yeah, Mr Bond), then you have to put a cool $5 million back in the pot to continue the game. Winner takes all, potentially $150 million – not a bad little earner, eh?

The Main Opposition: Le Chiffre, referred to by M as “a mathematical genius who likes to prove it playing poker.” Evil banker, with typical villain scarred face, playing with other people’s blood money. “In poker, you never play your hand, you play the man across from you,” states 007 and he clearly has his eyes on Le Chiffre’s every move.

The Tell: Anyone can win in poker if they hold the best cards; the trick is to win when you don’t. That’s where tells come in—those subtle ways in which opponents betray themselves through body language, table talk, chip moves, eye contact, etc. Le Chiffre’s tell is a rather delightful pulsating vein in his forehead that he tries to surreptitiously cover with his finger. Beware getting played here. Bond losses a monster hand by banking on the tell being a dead cert. Two pairs (2Ks and 2Js) was a fair tasty hand too, but not as good as the four jacks of Le Chiffre, sneaky!

The Play: Unlike most casino games where you bet, get your cards, and then it’s all over, with Texas Hold’em you get some cards, make a bet, get some more cards, have another bet if you fancy and continue this process a few more times. You can leave the game at any point, which is known as folding. Although this does save you from having to put more money in, it also means that you lose any money that you have put in thus far, as you are choosing to leave the game.
And there’s a fair bit of folding in this match. The stakes are huge and the focus is on Bond and Le Chiffre, which often means they are playing ‘heads up’, i.e. the only two left, playing head to head.

For those that remain in the game to the end, the winner is the person with the best poker hand. This lucky person wins the pot (in this case, Mr Bond, given a lifeline from a CIA agent), sometimes minus a 5% rake (the commission taken by the casino). In Casino Royale there was no mention of a rake. With the stakes so high in this match and with it being a prestigious event, the plus for the casino would be the worldwide PR of such a match.

Also, it cannot be denied that the pull of the big screen, means showdowns with monster hands. That’s show business. So if you’re going to play like bond, be wary of reliance on very unlikely cards.

Oh and one last thing on Casino Royale; a bit of a plot hole. In the final hand of the poker game, everybody is all-in and Bond wins. However, LeChiffre has a greater value of chips, meaning that Bond can only win from each player up the amount he put into the pot. Any money in excess of this should have gone back to Le Chiffre and the game continued between him and Bond. In the movie, Bond wins everything. Never let the rules get in the way of a good plot, eh?